Now– here is my secret:

February 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

“Now–here is my secret: 

I tell it to you with an opennes of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words.  My secret is that I need God — that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love. 


I walk deeper and deeper into the rushing water.  My testicles pull up into myself. The water enters my belly button and it freezes my chest, my arms, my neck. I reaches my mouth, my nose, my ears and the roar is so loud — this roar, this clapping of hands. 

These hands– the hands that heal; the hands that hold; the hands we desire because they are better than desire. 

I submerge myself in the pool completely. I grab my knees and I forget gravity and I float within the pool and yet, even here, I hear the roar of water, the roar of clapping hands. 

These hands– the hands that care, the hands that mold; the hands that touch the lips, the lips that speak the words–the words that tell us we are whole.” 


-Douglas Coupland, from Life After God



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