Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

December 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

When we really look for love we do not run back and forth between this person and that. Instead, we go deeper and look at the nature of love itself. We look at our hunger and our desperation to be filled up. We look at the feeling that we can never be complete, and that there is someone out there who can make us whole.

What is it we dream of?  Who we are had never been lost; the love in ourselves is stronger than all the confusion it must confront. We only imagine we are deprived. If we are willing to open our hearts to the love inside and let it come out, it can heal our lives and the lives of others. The mystery is why we will not.

[…]

Because we do not yet know how to see the beauty in everyone, we search for the perfect person, or perfect mate, believing that there are only a few individuals on this earth that we can truly love.  We do this, of course, because our ability to love is limited.

Some who find the one whom they believe to be the perfect person quickly run away. Being with someone we feel is perfect can make us even more painfully aware of our own imagined inadequacies. Deep down we may also believe that this relationship cannot last  because we don’t really deserve it.

-Brenda Shoshanna, Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

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